SG0022 A Dinner with a friend…

星期天的新加坡，依然沒有從她的華麗脫去繁忙的面紗。下午從家裡出發到烏節路的健身房去健身。晚上很開心和一個朋友吃晚餐。我們互通簡訊一番後，就決定到Sushi Tei 去享用晚餐。從313坐地鐵，不到十分鐘的路程，就到達Raffles City Shopping Mall。 我匆匆忙忙的趕著去會這個朋友一起吃晚餐（基本上有點遲到了）。點了4樣小菜之後，我們就邊吃邊聊。吃完之後，我們就到附近的星巴克去點了兩杯咖啡坐著聊天。這個朋友年紀稍微比我大幾年，可是年紀輕輕已經選擇退休了。

在很多的場合，特別是和朋友一起吃飯聊天的時候，通常我話題比較多。這次反而是我比較少話題，而我的朋友就和我聊了很多。朋友提醒我投資要趁早，也教我許多投資的概念。這一頓晚餐，我想那個價值不只在於壽司的價錢，至少超過那個價錢。在這次的交談，我學習了好多東西，包括基本投資的觀念，錢財的運作，還有學習的態度。和他的交談，他讓我想起我第一份工作。我第一份工作，是在一家顧問公司上班。這份工作的壓力，讓我只能在那裡待了大概一年就離開了。間中記得其中一位上司對我說過一句話。那個時候，初出茅廬因為很多東西都靠自己。小小的設計，往往我都是從基本的計算開始學習，間中就面對很多的問題。我這個上司很多時候就會給我很多的指點，讓我不用從最基本的東西學起，就能明白一些設計的原理。在我離開前，他留了我一句話給我：許多前輩花了一輩子的時間，學習設計，接著成為經驗。我們應該從他們身上學習這些經驗而不是自己自我摸索。就好比一個人走了四十年道路，我們這些年輕一輩的，不應該從四十年前的起初從頭開始走起。我們應該接著他們的道路，繼續走下去。一個國家可以進步，就是因為我們把前人的經驗繼續的累計下去，讓我們能夠繼續的建立這個國家。

見到這個朋友的時候，和他聊了大概三個小時多的時間，學了好多東西。他的經驗或許可以成為我學習的，對於不對，我不知道。至少這是他的人生經驗。多少我想他的經驗是我可以攝取或是學習的對象。或許提早退休的夢未免太大，不夠實際，但是我們一天不願意提起我們的第一步和虛心的接受別人的引導，這個夢永遠還是夢。

Sunday afternoon, I did my gym at orchard, the heading toward to Raffles City Shopping Mall to have my dinner with a friend at Sushi Tei. We ordered 4 dishes and have a nice gathering during the dinner. After dinner, we went to starbuck to have a cup of coffee. This friend is few years older than me but he already retired.

Normally, I am the one talk a lot during the gathering but this time, my friend he took the role. He shared a lot of things with me especially things regarding the investment, financial and learning attitude. Our conversation made me thought of my first job. When I was in my first job, I worked in a consultants company. I stayed there for a year and left because of the stress. I still remember that time I was just fresh graduated from the university and a lot of thing I have to learn from the scratch. My ex-boss always taught me a lot of design skill. Before I left the company, this boss shares a phrase with me. We had spent a lot of time to learn all the design skill, and it is our experience, now we shared it with you. You should take it as experience and proceed from there. It just like when people pass by every for 40 years. You should start everything all over again but proceed from where we stopped. By this, a country can be developed. I always remember this wherever I go. I always told myself to be humble to learn all news things from the senior or people who had more experience. By doing this, it may help us to short cut the learning process by reducing the failure and move our step even faster.

I chatted with this friend for about 3 hour, and learned a lot of things from him. His experience may be guidance to me to proceed. Whether all the experience workable on me or not, I am not sure but at least I know and I should consider to try it. It may be too ambitious to retire in the youngest age but it is not too late dream about it. The dream may come true only when we willing to move our first step and willing to listen to the guidance.

SG0021 Self Introduction Part 3/3

人生最後的自述會是什麼？除了一生人要不斷的更新我們的“履歷表”，我想應該是我們個人最後的悼詞。如果上天恩寵我，我希望祂可以讓我在與世長眠前，可以聽到我的悼文。我想知道到底我這個生命在世界上行走了這麼多年，別人對這個“我”會是一個怎樣的闡述呢？或許我聽到的是不到一百個字的感言，或許是一篇二十分鐘的悼詞。對我的悼詞長短充分的道出我這個人在世界依然存活的人心目中的價值和地位。“我”這一生人一直都是用第一人稱來寫“我”的自述，我想“我”期待聽到別人來寫一些關於 “我” 的東西。“我”對於自己的認識往往比任何人來的深，但是不代表我就能完全了解自己。作為“我”生命之外的第三者也許看“我”會比我看“我”更為的徹底。

我曾經有過這樣的經驗。我出席一次的面試，面試官就要求自我介紹。起初我很流利的介紹自己，如名字，年齡，學歷，工作經驗，然後我發現我慢慢的無法完全的表達自己。我自認對自己認識比別人多，但是我發現做簡單的自我介紹都可以讓我頭疼。我重新的檢討是否是我對自己過度的自信，還是其實我從來就不曾留意自己。

我的悼文，別人會怎樣的寫，我不知道。我閉上眼睛重新的看看自己過去的一生，數算我成長的歲月。我問我自己如果我要為自己寫這篇悼文，我要怎樣去寫？從呱呱落地，到今天坐在這裡思考這個問題，我的人生走了三十多年。這些年來，我是怎樣的成長。未來的日子到我嚥下最後一口氣，我又是怎樣的生活。從出世到今天，我學會過大家認為應該的生活。社會決定了這個生命應該怎樣活，所以我是按照社會的規範去成長。三十年來，我學習做社會認為我應該有的樣式。到底社會的存在是為了我，還是我是為了社會而存在。

若干年後，或許我的悼文會是如此。

他一個好孩子，因為他做了他父母心中的那個好角色。

他是好學生，因為他不曾讓老師失望。

他是個好同學，因為他成為同學中的榜樣。

他是一個好同事，因為他盡自己的本分去工作。

他是好父親，因為他撫養和教育孩子。

他是好丈夫，因為他盡了做丈夫的責任。

他是….

 

在走到人生最後的日子，我們或許發現我們的生命都是為了別人而活….人生前面的道路還有多長，我不知道，但至少我知道我今天還存在。人生有多精彩，不是能擁有什麼，而是你怎樣去詮釋你的角色。

What is our last self introduction? We will keep updating our “resume” throughout the year。 When come to final, I think should be our eulogy. If the God have a grace on me, I wish I can listen to my eulogy before I pass away. Who am “I” in the eyes of other people? They may use less than 100 words to describe me or they may take 20 minutes to talk about me. My eulogy will be the final comment from the peoples who know me long enough. I use to introduce myself in first person, and this is the time for me to listen how people think about me. May be what they know me more than I know myself.

I had such experience when I attend a interview in KL. The interviewer requests me to introduce myself. I started with my name, age, qualification, and slowly I found I have nothing to introduce to the interviewer. I thought I know myself well, but I found that I can’t really know how to present myself.

My eulogy, how will people write about it? I closed my eyes and in my mind, I think about my whole life, counting what had happened these years. If I am going to write my own eulogy, what will I write? From the moment I born, till the moment I sat on the ground thinking of this, I had gone through 30 years. How I grew up? What will I do in my future time from now on to the end of my life?

May be after many years later, my eulogy will be like this:

He had done his well to be a good son, because he does what his parent asked him to be,

He had done his well as a good student; because he did what his teacher want him to do,

He had done his well as a good classmate, because he become their role

He had done his well as a good colleague, because he finished his work all the time

He had done his well as a good father because he complete grow his children up

He had done his well as a husband because he had being a good husband

He had…

 

May be when we reach the end of our life, we may found that our whole life we live because of other but not for ourselves….how wonderful your life is not what you can grab in your life but how you interpreted your character in your life…

 

SG0020 Self Introduction Part 2/3

發現人越開始長大，就越會把自己隱藏起來。當我們知道我們某些一面不是社會能夠接受的時候，我們就開始把他深深的放在我們內心的某處。在我的自述裡，不會看到醜陋一面的我。作為“我”的作者，我會盡量把“我”寫得比較得體，不會刻意顯著我的好，卻是繞過我的醜。

離開小學以後，就沒有再寫我的自述這樣無聊的作文。在中學的歲月和大學的生涯裡，作文都是靠想像力還有非常水皮的語文能力來完成。還記得去年因為護照出了問題，必須用馬來文寫一封公函給有關當局，結果不到五百個字的書信，用了一天來完成。記得寫完了，準備呈交上去的時候，發現信件有語病，結果拿回家又重新修改過。也許這個時候我應該重新檢討我語言掌握的能力.

很多人沒有注意到，離開學校以後，我們還是要寫個人的自述。只是這個自述和小時候在學校裡的文章不一樣。那是一份為了工作需要的履歷表。個人的履歷表當然是把一個人的能力，強項寫下。讓對方參閱的時候，可以認識我們。但是履歷表是否就代表我這個人，就因人而異。在寫這份比較高檔次的自述時，人們學會利用文字來點綴自己。人們盡可能把自己最好的一面寫出來，甚至還會錦上添花的加了一些“材料”讓自己顯得比較有“料”。這樣的表達方式， 讓我想起小紅帽裡頭那隻披著羊皮的狼。除去實有的樣貌外（有時還是假造的），剩下的都是人工的。

在今天這個快餐的社會裡，人們學會包裝自己。包裝成為一門重要的學科。所有的小黑狼必須學習如何把自己打扮成一隻小羊。不懂包裝的人，只能處處碰釘子。人們把不漂亮的東西藏在衣服下面，利用華麗的服飾把可以毀壞的軀殼給掩蓋。就像履歷表，人們把好的寫在紙張上，把不好的寫在膠擦下。

寫這篇文章的時候，其實是因為一個朋友想認識我。給了我留言。信中留言問我是否可以稍微介紹自己一下。我這樣的回答他，只要你用心認識我，時間會告訴你，我是一個怎樣的人。我不想給自己點綴什麼。畢竟我的“認為”不一定是他認同的“認為”。我可以說自己是一個務實的人，但是別人就不一定認為。認識一個人需要時間，而要認識“我”也是利用時間來認識。就像一段感情，時間是整個過程的橋樑。

We tent to hide ourselves when we grew up. When we found some values which is not accepted by our society, we will try to keep it somewhere inside our inner heart. When we try to describe ourselves, we will try to show the best of us and hide the ugly part of us.

After we left our primary school, I do believe most of us never wrote any essay like self introduction. I remembered last year when I have some problem with my passport, I need to write an appeal letter in Malay language, I took about one day to finish it. When I want to pass up the letter, I found there is some language mistake, I took it back and correct it again.

A lot of us never realized that we still need to write “self introduction” when we left our school. In fact we still need to write it but in other form – resume. We need to prepare a self introduction in resume format, write down all our skills and qualification in the proper way. This is to make sure that those who read our “self introduction” will know us better. Therefore we will try to put good things into the resume and kick all the bad point of us behind the paper. We will try to make our resume look more “delicious” by add on more “seasoning” into it. It makes me recall back the story about the wolf in the little red riding hood – act as a lamb with a sheepskin.

Today we need to know how to decorate ourselves. Those who don’t decorate themselves may face some problem in their living. With nice deco, one will look good externally and people may like him more than those people who show their real face.  Hence people tend to hide the real self underneath the shirt and cover it with a nice dress.

I wrote all this because there is a friend who wanted to know me left me a message. He wanted me to introduce a bit about myself. I answer him in this way, time will tell me who I am when you willing to know me more. I don’t want to tell you how good I am, whereby I am not that kind of person. I may think I have that good character but some may disagree. A relationship need time to build and the time is the bridge to cross over the river to get to know me better.

SG0019 Self Introduction Part 1/3

最近開始重新寫一些文章來點綴一下我荒廢已久的部落格。絕大多數的文章都是我個人的感受。有些朋友經過我的部落格，看了就給我留言，甚至有些寫了自我接受的短信給我說想認識我。回信的時候，當然因為對方是新朋友，我都會稍微介紹自己。這個讓我想起小學的時候，上語文課時，老師喜歡叫我們寫我的自述。

打從認識文字開始，對作文就有點恐懼。所有的語文課都要學習寫作文。小學的作文那個時候至少要120個字左右。語文課最差的我，每每看到作文節的時候，就開始頭疼了起來。馬來西亞90年代的教育，主要是填鴨式的教育法。語文課老師喜歡找許多所謂不錯的文章交給學生，要求學生回家去背熟。這些硬生生的文章就這樣烙印在那個年代孩子的腦袋裡。幾乎每一年，開學不久（基於可能沒有什麼課題）老師總喜歡叫我們寫這個題目-我的自述。由於背熟太多自述的文章，結果就會發現原來每個同學的“背景”都差不多一樣。年復一年的學習，每年的“我的自述”差不多都一樣，只是多了一些形容的文字。

那個時候的文章，差不多每個同學的家庭都非常幸福美滿，有疼愛他們的家人。大家都有一樣的興趣就是閱讀，同樣工作就是上課。有共同喜歡的食物，共同的愛好。甚至連寵物的名字都一樣。大家寫的是記憶裡那些典範文章裡頭的我，而不是那個寫文章的我。

其實重新站在今天“我”這個角度去看當初我寫我的自述時，我發現那個時候的我，都是要符合老師和文章的要求來虛構自己的存在。當時的我，不一定就是生活裡頭的我。我盡量把自己虛構成老師和同學喜歡的人物。那個年代不是每個學生都愛閱讀，但是因為作文的要求，大家都變成愛讀書的一群。不是每個學生都有一對父母，但是因為作文的要求，變成有一對疼愛自己的父母。這樣的作文要求，是不是對孩子來說是個嚴苛的考驗。老師教會孩子美化自己？教會孩子用語言掩飾自己不美麗的一面。結果差不多全班同學的文章的格式和內容都大同小異，只是名字和對象會有一些差異。其實我從來沒有想過單親父母的孩子如何寫這樣的自述？一個長期受到虐待的孩子如何寫出這個美好的自述？最詭異的是，那個年代大家好像都認識阿裡，小華和木都。（馬來西亞的90年代小學的課本裡頭的主人翁，阿里是馬來人，小華是華人，木都是印度人）。

今天重新思考小時候寫我的自述這樣的文章時，其實那個我並不完全是我，裡頭的內容超過一半都是“純屬虛構”，但是和同學都是“如有雷同”。我認真的去思考那時候的教育沒有教會孩子如何面對自己，重新認識自己，然後建立一個健康的自己。孩子都是在老師認為下去建立一個討教育者歡心的形象。也許因為這樣的教育，人們從哪裡學會掩飾自己，虛構自己。

在文字裡，“我”沒有被正確的詮釋出來，“我”卻被社會的規範，約束了“我”應該活出的樣式。“我”就這樣的成長…

Lately I start to write some word in my blog. Most of the writings are more to my personal view. Some friend who read my blog, left me some message to me, some even write a simple self introduction to me. When I replied those mails, I will write a little bit self introduction to them. Writing self introduction lead me to think of when I was young in the primary school, my teacher use to ask us to write self introduction.

I don’t like to write essay, especially when I was in primary school, where we need to produce about 120 words essay. I am poor in language; therefore I don’t really like language class. During 90’s, Malaysia’s education system are more to spoon feeding system. Our teacher will find a lot of so call “good” essay and ask the student to memorize it. This essay later will become the role to all the essays we wrote. We use to be asked by teacher to write self introduction every year during the primary school days. The funny part is, whenever the teacher asked us to write some similar essay, the content of the essays are almost the same among the student.

Most of the content having similar idea, everybody have a happy family who care about us. Everyone have same hobby which is reading, same task which is schooling, same food and even the pet may have same name. Most of us when we write something about self introduction, we are more refer to the role essay in our memory instead of real “me”. What I found in these essays, we never truly describe ourselves. We will try to build a person who is quite similar to us but having good character in the essay to represent the real me. Not everybody like reading, not everybody has happy family, not everybody have a pet but we try to create something to make the essay more complete. In other word, we try to build another person who is much better than me to represent me in the essay. One may found that most of the essays are quite similar to each other except different name and storey order. The education system teaches us to beautify ourselves by create a new “me” in the essay. I wonder a person who came from single parent family or who have family problem, how they wrote these essays?

We never learn to know “ourselves” from the wordings; we being taught to follow what the culture want us to be and behave as what they want us to behave. We grow up in such way….

SG0018 端午節

記得在年紀小時候，每逢佳節來臨時，家裡就會煮得特別豐富。那是我們做孩子最期待的日子。那一天可能就會吃到一年裡吃不到的食物。端午節對我們來說也是如此。一般上父母都會在外面買了一些粽子回來吃。後來長大以後，媽媽學會裹粽子，每年的端午節就會吃到母親的粽子。後來我大學讀書的時候，每年端午節還是在家鄉度過。母親的粽子對我來說是多麼可口。那一顆顆的粽子，不是外面可以買到的。除了餡料足夠，蒸煮的時間和火候足夠，所以弄出來的粽子是多麼好吃。

大學畢業後，就沒有回家過端午節。由於在吉隆坡工作，一般上不會為了一個小節日特地乘坐兩個多小時的飛機回去家鄉吃粽子。由於想念媽媽的粽子，我開始學會自己裹粽子。我對烹飪的天份，老早就把母親的粽子學會了。在吉隆坡的五年的日子，差不多每年的端午節都是自己裹粽子吃，也把一些分給朋友，解解鄉愁。

今年是我第一年在新加坡過端午。沒有特別興奮，只是收到好多的端午祝賀語。今年也沒有自己裹粽子。一個人要裹一兩顆粽子，可能性不大，而且也不方便。結果我還是選擇購買一兩顆粽子來應節。雖然心裡想念家裡粽子的味道，但是除了想念，也不能做太多東西。

生命裡其實有好多東西當我們擁有的時候，我們還沒開始學會去珍惜。因為認為自己不可能失去他，所以不認為有必要去學習珍惜。有時候我覺得上天很可愛。他為了讓我們學會珍惜，他從我們身上開始慢慢的把這些拿走，直到有一天我們發現這些東西不見的時候，我們才開始驚覺在我們身邊的東西已經不在了。其實換一個角度來看，對於身邊的愛人，朋友和一切我們所擁有的，應該學習如何去珍惜。

這幾天開始收到朋友陸陸續續發來的端午賀語，心中一直閃過王维的一句詩句：獨在異鄉為異客，每逢佳節倍思親。這句詩句把我的心情寫了出來。

SG0017 We can change our thinking….

最近這幾天天天下雨。今天早上我出門上班前，就來了一場傾盆大雨。在我到達捷運站的時候，雨才開始嘩啦嘩啦的下。一路上聽到雨水拼命往著捷運打來，捷運的冷氣沒有因此而調低，所以顯得格外寒冷。路途上，我突然想起，前些日子朋友在facebook留言天氣太過炎熱，希望快快下雨。這幾天，老天天天下雨，他們又開始留言希望天晴。

記得在馬來西亞工作的時候，要天天開車去上班。遇到旱季的時候，灰塵就開始滿天飛。鄰國的煙霧又開始飄了過來。結果朋友見面的時候，就天天喊快點下雨。到了雨季，雨水特別多。結果到處都是水災。出門到處堵車。衣服又曬不干。朋友見面的時候，就喊快點天晴。

我在想老天其實也很難做。放了幾天炎熱的太陽，人們就吵著要雨天。給了雨天，又說要晴天。到底人要什麼？如果我是老天，我看我會按一塊雲朵在每個人的頭上。這樣要下雨，要晴天可以滿足個人的需要。

窗外的雨不斷的下，偶爾聽到車上的乘客埋怨下雨天。我想今天早上他的心情應該不會怎樣漂亮起來。我卻靜靜的坐在捷運裡，聽著打在捷運上的雨聲。難得一個早上可以遇到雨天。天氣不是人可以控制，但是我們可以控制我們的心情。何不換個心情去迎接它呢？與其把一個早上的心情打翻，不如好好的享受大雨的時刻。或許當你學會欣賞雨天的時候，你就會發現它的美麗。

Early in the morning, it was heavy rain when I was on my way to my office. The rain starts after I reached MRT station. The rain was getting heavier and the temperature of the air-con in the train never lower down. It made me felt cold. On my way, I suddenly recall that many of my friends recently left their status in Facebook saying that hoping rain is coming soon as the weather is too hot. However since these few days, rain seems like never stop, they start to complaint when the rain get stop.

I still remember when I worked in Malaysia; I need to drive to work. During the dry season, the dash fly around and the hash from the other country reach my country soon. Every time when we met our friend for gathering, some will keep saying hoping the rain is coming soon. When the raining season started, everywhere was flooding. The traffic jam in all the major roads and all the clothes cannot get dried. When people met up, complain again.

I was thinking that it is not easy to become God. Put a shining sun on the sky for few days, man asking for rain. Put the rain on, they ask for sun. What men really want? If I am the God, I wish to put a cloud on each person head so that the weather cans fulfil everybody needs.

The rain never stop, some passenger start complaining about the raining in the MRT. I guess he/she may have bad mood to start his/her day today. I enjoy sitting on the seat and listen to the raining sound. It is hardly to encounter a raining morning since I work in Singapore.  We can’t control the weather, but we can control our emotion. Why can’t we change our mindset to accept a raining morning? Why not enjoy the raining moment and somehow you may found the beauty behind the raining day?

~ in photograph: Sentosa Island…

SG0016 The Moment with you….

星期一早上的新加坡，天氣就如過去幾天一樣，烏雲滿天。好像要下雨，但是就是看不到一滴雨下來。就如往常一樣，我帶著星期一的心情去上班。間中國外朋友突然來到我的gmail留言，告訴我很開心那一次能夠在吉隆坡見面。我回她說，每一次我回去，無論是吉隆坡或是家鄉，我都盡量安排時間見見我的老朋友。我珍惜每次相聚的機會，因為我把每次的見面當成最後的見面，我也許就沒有機會再見到他了。（結果沒有時間購物）

記得去年我一個人到清邁旅行的時候，遇到一個婦女。那一天是我逗留清邁的最後一天。那一天早上下著大雨。我騎著電單車隨便逛了市場，就到附近的星巴克喝咖啡。在享受香濃的咖啡的時候，進來了一個洋人婦女。她看過去大約四十多歲，頭髮濕濕的，點了杯咖啡就坐到我隔壁的座位。我給了她一個微笑，我們就彼此交談了起來。談話中，發現原來她一個人單獨的從美國過來清邁探望她的父親。她的父親在清邁遇到了一個女人娶了她就定居下來。這次因為父親生病，所以她就大老遠的從美國過來看她的爸爸。父親年老，不想回去美國，所以她必須從美國那邊乘了三十多個小時的飛機到達這裡。這樣一來一回就用了好多的時間，所以基本上很少到這裡探望父親。她說每一次的探望，就當是最後一次的探望，因此她就會珍惜每一次的相聚。她說這一次見了父親，下一次就不知道什麼時候還會回來清邁。畢竟人生無常，沒有人能夠預測自己能夠活到明天。也許今天離開清邁，父親明天就離開人間。這也許是最後一次的見面。她說的那些話深深的打動我的心。她讓我想起我們祖先那一代的命運。在年少的時候離開中國，到南洋工作。他們抱著也許有一天可以風風光光的回到自己的祖國，命運使他們一生留在南洋，從此一輩子沒有回去過。家鄉的父親和母親對他們來說永遠停留在他們離開的那個樣子。

那一次可以回到吉隆坡其中一個原因就是因為這個朋友剛好從香港過來出席一個研討會。那一天和她聊起的時候，發現我們認識了差不多兩年。記得認識她的時候，應該是去雲頂旅行的那一次，後來在新山見過一次，而這一次就在吉隆坡見面。我告訴她我珍惜這一段友情，所以我也願意從新加坡過來見見她。我或許不能每次回去都能見所有的朋友，但是我可以做的是珍惜每一次和我認識的朋友相聚。

Monday morning in Singapore, the weather was as usual. It looked like going to rain but not a single drop was found on the street. I started work as usual. A friend suddenly came across to my Gmail and left few words to me. She told me that she was great that we have chance to meet up during her time at Kuala Lumpur. I replied her said that I appreciated the moment I gather with my friend every time when I return to Kuala Lumpur or my home town. I will try to arrange my time to meet up my old friend. I treated every gathering as my last meet with my friend, that why I enjoy the moment. (This made me lost all my shopping time)

I still remember last year when I traveled alone to Chiang Mai, I met a women from America. It was raining day, and I spent my time at Starbuck with hot and nice coffee. A women can in after a while I found my sit. She ordered her drink and sat a place near to me. She gave me a smile and we chat with each other. From the conversation, I found this woman was travel alone from US to visit her father. Her father married a local women and settle down at Chiang Mai. Because her father was sick, that why she travel 30 over hours from US to Chiang Mai just to visit her father. She told me, because the traveling time was so time consuming, that why she appreciate every moment when she gather with her father. She treated the gathering as last gathering with her father each time she met her father. She said may be the next trip will be attending the funeral. Life is short and so unpredictable. We never know what will happen tomorrow. She made me recall our grandparents when they travel all the way down to South East Asia to work when they were young. They hope when they return to their mother land, they can bring better life to their parents. They never knew that, it was their last chance to see their parents. What they had in their mind is just the blur image of their parent at the young age.

This lady friend came to Kuala Lumpur to attending some seminar. I grabbed the opportunity to travel back hope to meet her up there. To my friends, I may not able to meet you all up every time I returned back to Kuala Lumpur, but I enjoy every moment I spent with you. I don’t know after several year later, would you still remember me as one of your friend in your life.

SG0015 A Call to my Mum…

昨天給媽媽打了電話。電話那頭，妹妹先接了。妹妹先更我聊了有的沒的，把家裡最近發生的事情先給我說一說。接著就弟弟接我的電話，也和我說了一些家裡的笑話才把電話給了媽媽。每一次和媽媽聊天的時候，她一定先問我吃了嗎？難得有時間打電話回家，能夠聊幾句就聊幾句。雖然每次撥電話回家很少和老爸聊天，媽媽都會先和我報告老爸的情況。然後就會開始我這個親戚講到那個親戚的故事。雖然我不在他們身邊，但是聽他們聊起這些故事的時候，總是那麼的好笑。有時候打電話回家其實不是真正想知道家裡發生什麼事情，只是心裡掛念某一個人的聲音。只是想聽聽他們的聲音。他們和我講的故事，我或許只會記得一些，但是他們的聲音我永遠記得。記得有一個朋友告訴我，以前父母還在的時候，經常在他面前嘮嘮叨叨。後來去世，沒有人和他嘮嘮叨叨。有時候還挺懷念他們的聲音。

很多時候，我們總會覺得別人擁有的比我們好，我們卻不知道我們擁有的也比許多人好。能夠聽到家人在身邊嘮叨其實就是一種福氣。至少他們還在你身邊，在你失去一切的時候，這個聲音還是會說，回來我身邊，我的孩子...

I made a phone call to my mum yesterday. My sister pickup my line and she talked quite a lot with me. She told me all the stories that happened at our house. Then later, my brother continues with the call by sharing me with other stories. After that, my mum picked up my line and first things she uses to ask me: “had your dinner already?” I use to call back to talk with my mum. I seldom talk much with my dad. However my mum will share with me about my dad and all the stories happened in our family. Sometime I call back home is not try to know what had happened in my family, it just I miss my family voice. I may not able remember all the stories they told me, but they voice, I always keep it in my heard. A friend of mine share with me, before his parents pass away, his parent use to whining with him. After they passed away, nobody whines with him. Sometime he misses the way his parents whining with him.

Love your family and appreciate them when they still around you, because when you lost everything, there always a sound telling you, come back home, my son.

SG0014 Why Quarrel…..

今天我比平時早到達我的家（其實也不早，只是15分鐘而已）。下捷運的時候，在出口看到一對夫婦。丈夫帶著兩個女兒在捷運站的出口等著他的太太。 太太一見到丈夫就嚴厲的責問丈夫為什麼按掉他的電話。丈夫告訴太太說他不小心按到其他的鍵，所以無法聯繫到太太。我看到火頭不對勁，就匆匆的從他們身邊離開。到附近的水果攤買了我喜愛的橙就準備回家。回程中又經過這對夫婦的面前。兩個人在一旁抽煙。各自隔了一段距離。我隱隱聽到丈夫這樣對太太說：“難得帶孩子出來等你，你一見面就吵架。”我看到孩子在捷運的出口旁兩個人獨自的在玩耍。

回程中，我在想為什麼兩個人就是不能好好的坐下談談。做太太的為什麼一見面就用責問的語氣來和丈夫對話呢？如果電話無法接通，為什麼就不能再撥第二次？做丈夫的為什麼在不小心按掉太太的電話時，為什麼不能再撥一次電話給太太。

很多時候事情可以很簡單的處理。只是很多時候我們放不下我們內心的主權。我們很多時候就是認為自己完全對。我們處理事情的時候，就是要讓對方完全處於下風。要對方感到他完全錯，我們才能完全的罷休。或許我們認為我們戰勝了，但是往往把事情搞到亂七八糟來收藏，也顯示出我們是多麼愚蠢和沒有智慧。

學習冷靜的處理事情。事情都要他的兩面性。不一定都是不好。不同心態去面對，結果雖然一樣，但是你得到的感覺卻截然不同。同樣的一句話，不同的語氣，解決是事情雖然一樣，但是結果不一定一樣。

I reached Yishun slightly early than usual （15minutes early）. When I was at the exit of the MRT station, I saw a couple there. The husband brought their two daughters here to wait their mum who comes back from work. The wife who first saw her husband was spoken in loud queries her husband why turn off her call. Her husband told her that he accidentally presses the other button and the line was off. It seem like something going to happened, I quickly move over and went to buy fruit nearby. In the return, I saw them again. Both of them smoking and stand apart from each other. I heard the husband said: “ I seldom brought our children out and you once meet out want have row. I saw two little children playing alone at the side.

On my way back, I was thinking why both of them can’t really have a good talk about it. Why the wife must talk in such a way with her husband. If the line was cut off, dial again. It is not a big problem. If the husband accidentally presses the wrong button, why he can’t call back to his wife? Many reasons behind which I don’t know what were it, but the thing is why both of them just can’t talk properly before start quarrel with each other?

Things can be simple and it depend on to us how we solve it. A lot of time, we just can’t let go our ego. A lot of time we use to thing that we are right all the time. We want to make the opponent felt embrace at the end, only then we satisfy. However we never know that we use to make the situation getting worst and the relationship between us with the other people getting worst and worst.

We should learn how to put down our self. Solve the problem in calm. Same word, express in different way, it solve the same problem but it bring different result.

SG0013 Family Love

感動我的那一點…. The things touch my heart…

午餐的時候，天空一直下著雨。我帶著雨傘下到公司附近一個茶餐廳吃我的午餐。今天的午餐和往日沒有兩樣，為了減肥，還是吃清淡的食物。在享受我午餐的當兒，我對面座來了一群女人。一個是年老的阿嫲，三個中年阿嫂，和兩個少女。一群人嘻嘻哈哈的找個位置坐下就去點食物。他們看來不是來享用午餐，大概是來和下午茶。我的午餐時間通常是下午茶的時間，主要是避開人群罷了。

其實普通的食客一般上都不會引起別人的注意。可能是我無聊，沒事做，就一直注意他們。這一群女人看過去來自三代。我的判斷應該是親戚關係。引起我注意的是她們在喝茶的過程有講有笑。那兩個少女和那個阿嫲有談有笑，有時候親近她，有時告訴她一些東西。阿嫲看過去大概有七十左右吧，可是和那兩個少女（我想應該是她的孫女吧）有說有笑。孫女拿出電話，給阿嫲看電話的銀幕，那一種溫馨感動了我。好久好久沒有這樣的感動。在新加坡和吉隆坡這麼久很少看到三代坐在一起可以這樣有說有笑。我突然很感慨。

其實我很羨慕我身邊的朋友，住在家裡有家人陪伴。我一年回家一兩次。記得我離開家的時候，妹妹還是黃毛小丫頭，那個時候的她應該是小六。我一直沒有機會陪伴我妹妹成長。每一次的回家，看到的是她成長了一些，爸爸媽媽的頭髮又多了一些白頭髮。當年為了學業，我隻身離開家鄉，到吉隆坡深造。這一去，雖然斷斷續續都有回家看家人，但是卻沒有好好的留下陪伴他們。一直到前年妹妹過來吉隆坡深造的時候，已經是亭亭玉立的少女，媽媽也從少婦變成了阿嫂。爸爸也老了好多。最近開始發現他有好多的白頭髮。

可以留在家人身邊的，是一種福氣。有家人在身邊嘮叨也是一種福氣。很多人想要都沒有。記得最近有個馬來西亞的朋友在新加坡工作，為了家裡的奶奶，他決定放棄這裡的生活回去工作，順便陪奶奶。我雖然覺得放棄這裡的工作很可惜，但是家人就如他所說的比一切更重要。錢可以買很多東西，但是就是買不到親情。

天還在下著雨，我品嚐完我的咖啡。離開茶餐市，去買了兩杯杯溫溫的豆漿回去給我同事，溫暖一下有點冷的下午。離開的時候，我深深的祝福這個家庭，也告訴自己多給爸爸媽媽打電話和他們聊天。愛不是用嘴說，而是用行動來表現。

I was having my lunch alone in the raining afternoon. While having my usual meal (diet meal) I saw a group of people walking toward to my area. One old lady, three old unties and two young ladies. There were there for tea time.

May be I was so free; this group of people attracted me. Base on my judgment, there are from a family. While they having their drink, I saw the old lady was talking with two young ladies. The young ladies were showing some picture in the phone to the old lady and the old lady was laughing. They rather look like close friend than family. This scenario touched me. I hardly saw a few generations from a family sitting together have such a great time in the big city recent years when I move out from my hometown.

I am very envy of my friend. They stay with the family whereby I use to travel back to my hometown twice a year. I still remember the time when I left my family to further study in KL, my sister was in primary six. Every time I back to my hometown, I found my sister grew up a bit. I was a bit regret that for so many year I never grew up together with them. Every time, I back I found my mom getting older as well as my father. Staying together with family is a blessing. Some friends do comment that they don’t like their family members as their parents like to quarrel with them. I had a friend who recently moved back to Malaysia from Singapore because of his grandma. His grandma was old and he wants to have precious time with his grandma during her old age time. To him, family is more than everything. Money can buy a lot of things but not family.

I finished my coffee and went to buy 2 cup of warm soy bean drink for my colleague. Before I left, I bless this family and I reminded myself to call back often to my family. Love is an action…

SG0012 小小的關心

今天早上上班的時候，公司的另外一個同事從家裡帶來了一包巧克力送給我。看到這些巧克力，我很開心。他告訴我這是他女兒從美國帶回來到巧克力，送了一些給我。原來灰灰的星期一早上，突然溫暖了起來。雖然東西不多，我卻看出他的關心和愛心。

記得每一次我出門回新加坡的時候，我都會帶一些外地的食物回來。很多時候，這些食物不是留給自己吃（怕肥），而是把它送給我身邊的朋友。這些食物無論是我喜歡的，或是我路過看到好吃的，我都會買一些回來新加坡。當然不是每個朋友我都會送，不然我可要安排一輛卡車來在這些食物了。每次的小手信都會送給不同的朋友。這次這個，下次就另外一個朋友。這些東西代表我的心意，也代表了朋友在我生命中的地位。東西的不一定貴重，重要的是朋友你在我心中，我一直掛念著。一份小小的心意，代表了我的關心，也代表我的謝意。

公司的就只有我和這個同事一起工作。很多時候，我們都會買一些東西給對方。同事很多時候都會在早上上班前去菜市場的小販中心買一些糕點給我吃。我吃飯的時候（都是一個人吃，因為我的同事不吃午餐）就會順便買一些豆漿或是豆腐花回來請他吃。有時候，小小的關心，可以讓彼此的關係更加的融洽。

人與人相處不外是彼此的關心，彼此的互動。少了互動，在這個冰冷的城市裡，我們還能擁有什麼？