SG0020 Self Introduction Part 2/3

發現人越開始長大，就越會把自己隱藏起來。當我們知道我們某些一面不是社會能夠接受的時候，我們就開始把他深深的放在我們內心的某處。在我的自述裡，不會看到醜陋一面的我。作為“我”的作者，我會盡量把“我”寫得比較得體，不會刻意顯著我的好，卻是繞過我的醜。

離開小學以後，就沒有再寫我的自述這樣無聊的作文。在中學的歲月和大學的生涯裡，作文都是靠想像力還有非常水皮的語文能力來完成。還記得去年因為護照出了問題，必須用馬來文寫一封公函給有關當局，結果不到五百個字的書信，用了一天來完成。記得寫完了，準備呈交上去的時候，發現信件有語病，結果拿回家又重新修改過。也許這個時候我應該重新檢討我語言掌握的能力.

很多人沒有注意到，離開學校以後，我們還是要寫個人的自述。只是這個自述和小時候在學校裡的文章不一樣。那是一份為了工作需要的履歷表。個人的履歷表當然是把一個人的能力，強項寫下。讓對方參閱的時候，可以認識我們。但是履歷表是否就代表我這個人，就因人而異。在寫這份比較高檔次的自述時，人們學會利用文字來點綴自己。人們盡可能把自己最好的一面寫出來，甚至還會錦上添花的加了一些“材料”讓自己顯得比較有“料”。這樣的表達方式， 讓我想起小紅帽裡頭那隻披著羊皮的狼。除去實有的樣貌外（有時還是假造的），剩下的都是人工的。

在今天這個快餐的社會裡，人們學會包裝自己。包裝成為一門重要的學科。所有的小黑狼必須學習如何把自己打扮成一隻小羊。不懂包裝的人，只能處處碰釘子。人們把不漂亮的東西藏在衣服下面，利用華麗的服飾把可以毀壞的軀殼給掩蓋。就像履歷表，人們把好的寫在紙張上，把不好的寫在膠擦下。

寫這篇文章的時候，其實是因為一個朋友想認識我。給了我留言。信中留言問我是否可以稍微介紹自己一下。我這樣的回答他，只要你用心認識我，時間會告訴你，我是一個怎樣的人。我不想給自己點綴什麼。畢竟我的“認為”不一定是他認同的“認為”。我可以說自己是一個務實的人，但是別人就不一定認為。認識一個人需要時間，而要認識“我”也是利用時間來認識。就像一段感情，時間是整個過程的橋樑。

We tent to hide ourselves when we grew up. When we found some values which is not accepted by our society, we will try to keep it somewhere inside our inner heart. When we try to describe ourselves, we will try to show the best of us and hide the ugly part of us.

After we left our primary school, I do believe most of us never wrote any essay like self introduction. I remembered last year when I have some problem with my passport, I need to write an appeal letter in Malay language, I took about one day to finish it. When I want to pass up the letter, I found there is some language mistake, I took it back and correct it again.

A lot of us never realized that we still need to write “self introduction” when we left our school. In fact we still need to write it but in other form – resume. We need to prepare a self introduction in resume format, write down all our skills and qualification in the proper way. This is to make sure that those who read our “self introduction” will know us better. Therefore we will try to put good things into the resume and kick all the bad point of us behind the paper. We will try to make our resume look more “delicious” by add on more “seasoning” into it. It makes me recall back the story about the wolf in the little red riding hood – act as a lamb with a sheepskin.

Today we need to know how to decorate ourselves. Those who don’t decorate themselves may face some problem in their living. With nice deco, one will look good externally and people may like him more than those people who show their real face.  Hence people tend to hide the real self underneath the shirt and cover it with a nice dress.

I wrote all this because there is a friend who wanted to know me left me a message. He wanted me to introduce a bit about myself. I answer him in this way, time will tell me who I am when you willing to know me more. I don’t want to tell you how good I am, whereby I am not that kind of person. I may think I have that good character but some may disagree. A relationship need time to build and the time is the bridge to cross over the river to get to know me better.